Holiday Gatherings: Joyful Times, Hidden Risks and Keeping Kids Safe

The Monthly Mindset Column - December 2025

By Melanie Pignotti, LCPC, CAC Chief Executive Officer

The holidays are a season of laughter, connection and family traditions. Homes fill with warmth, tables overflow with food and children run from room to room soaking up the magic. But amid the joy, there is a reality we cannot ignore; holiday gatherings can create opportunities for sexual abuse by situational offenders. 

Situational sexual offenders are individuals who may not actively seek out abuse as a lifestyle or pattern but act when circumstances make it easier, moments when supervision is low, boundaries are blurred and trust is high. These offenders often appear caring and familiar, which makes their behavior harder to detect. 

In fact, research shows that 93% of children who experience sexual abuse know their perpetrator, and 34% are abused by a family member. Others may be friends of the family or relatives of close friends who seem safe because they are familiar. This reality underscores a powerful truth: Everybody Knows Somebody who has been impacted by childhood sexual abuse. It’s not a distant issue; it’s woven into the fabric of our communities. Recognizing this prevalence helps break silence and build a culture of protection. 

Holiday gatherings often involve extended family, overnight stays and busy households. Children may be in unfamiliar spaces such as guest rooms, basements or homes with different rules where supervision is harder to maintain. Adults may assume “someone else is watching,” creating gaps in oversight. Add to this the distractions of hosting, cooking and socializing, and it’s easy for moments of isolation to occur unnoticed. 

Alcohol consumption can further reduce attentiveness and judgment among adults, increasing the likelihood that boundaries are overlooked. Children may also feel pressure to be polite or affectionate with relatives they rarely see, even when they feel uncomfortable. These dynamics create conditions where situational offenders can take advantage of trust and moments of privacy. 

Understanding these risks doesn’t mean fearing family time; it means planning for safety. Awareness allows us to set clear expectations, keep communication open and ensure that joy and protection go hand in hand. 

Practical Steps for Safer Holidays 

• Set boundaries before gatherings: Doors stay open when kids play, and private time with adults is not allowed. 

• Watch for red flags: Adults insisting on alone time, ignoring a child’s discomfort or bypassing parental rules. 

• Empower kids: Teach them “Your body belongs to you” and that secrets about touching are never okay. 

• Normalize safety: Frame boundaries as love in action, just like seatbelts. 

The holidays should be about joy, not silence or shame. Protecting children doesn’t mean dampening the spirit of the season but rather creating an environment where every child feels safe, seen and cherished. Every conversation, every proactive step, is an act of care that ripples far beyond the holiday season. Together, we can make gatherings places of laughter and security where memories are built on love, not harm.